Holding Hands (While The Worlds Come Tumbling Down)
by justareader13
Summary: I should seriously reconsider my life choices. Sam thinks from his place on the ground at a supposedly abandoned HYDRA center. wingfic


**Characters: Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff, James Rhodes, The Vision, Helen Cho, Leila Taylor**

 **Pairings: Sam/Steve, Sam & The Avengers Team**

 **Warnings: injured!Sam, dubious knowledge of science, light violence in the beginning, blood tw**

 _I should seriously reconsider my life choices._ Sam thinks from his place on the ground at a supposedly abandoned HYDRA center. The Avengers had gone to investigate reports that some advanced testing had taken place in the facility, more to point the kind of experiments done on Wanda and her brother. The base was small and supposedly deserted, it was supposed to be a quick in and out job, just gathering the intel. It wasn't even the whole team just Sam, Natasha and Wanda. Natasha was taking care of the main computer while Wanda and Sam looked for paper files. Of course Sam would stumble upon a group of soldiers. He's able to fight them off, not unscathed but he manages and then is completely blindsided by a needle being stabbed into his neck. It burns whatever they injected him with and before he could think of that fact he feels something spray into his eyes.

 _Damn it! Those bastards maced me!_

"Don't shoot him!" He hears a voice say with an accent that sounded like Wanda's. He continued in a language Sam didn't know but he was too preoccupied with the fact that his whole body felt like it was on fire. He stumbled back before falling to the floor, doing his best to resist the urge to rub his eyes. It'd just make it worst. He wasn't aware of how much time had passed before Natasha and Wanda were calling his name and touching his shoulders gently. He vaguely felt himself mumble something about mace and needles and fire and knocking the next scientist he saw out before they pulled him up. The burning that wasn't in his eyes was concentrating itself to his back and he could feel himself growing fuzzy even as the burning grew. He happily welcomed darkness if it meant a brief respite from the burning.

Sam was vaguely aware of a soft bed beneath him as he woke. His body wasn't burning so much anymore though his back still felt uncomfortable and his eyes hurt. He tried to open them and moving them still ached even as darkness remained.

"I better not be blind, I have work tomorrow." Sam grumbled angrily to himself.

"You could be blind and you're worried about the fact that you have work tomorrow?" He heard Steve's voice say somewhere to his left.

"You have your priorities and I have mine."

"You're my priority." He heard Steve mumble, almost too low for him to hear.

"Don't make me blush, Rogers." Steve was quiet for a beat before clearing his throat.

"You're not blind, there's a cloth over your eyes. I'm going to take it off." Steve warned before Sam felt him remove the cloth. His eyes slowly adjusted to the room but it managed. They stung but his back felt more uncomfortable though he ignored both. The room was dim, lit up only by a few candles. Sam was grateful; he doubted his eyes could take any florescent lights at the moment. He looked over at Steve who was dipping the cloth that had been on Sam's eyes into what looked like a bowl of milk. He came back over and sat at the end of the bed before he began gently dabbing at Sam's eyes.

"So what's the verdict?"

"The mace was run of the mill mace. We did some blood tests but whatever was in the needle isn't showing up on the tests which doesn't mean that it doesn't affect you. We think it was a sedative but we just don't know yet." Sam silently let Steve continue wiping at his eyes even though the sting was getting duller by the moment. He could hear the worry in Steve's voice.

"So how does it feel to be on the other side of mission injuries?" Sam asked with a smirk. Usually it was Steve coming back all banged up with no care about it despite Sam railing at him about his carelessness.

"You know, I can't say I'm particularly missing out on a broken arm or leg but I bet the doctor's missing me." Steve replied sarcastically.

"Probably wondering if you managed to kill yourself this time what with your aversion to parachutes and actually keeping your helmet on and generally ignoring any safety measures put before you whatsoever."

"How the hell is it that you're injured and I still get the damn lecture?" Sam put on a scandalized gasp.

"Watch your language, sir." Steve sighed and shook his head.

"I'm never living that down."

"No you're not but it was cute, you going all old man yelling on his lawn." Steve chuckled before looking down at Sam with a smile and this was it. This was how Steve got him because he'd gaze at him with the puppy eyes and smile his goofy ass sappy smile and then nothing would come of it. Sam was waiting; he was waiting for Steve to make a move because something told him it needed to be Steve's choice. He needed to get himself comfortable with whatever he was feeling and Sam was fine waiting, not too long he had a deadline before he took matters into his own hands or worse yet before Nat got involved, but he would wait for as long as he could.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you Wilson." Steve mumbled, dabbing gently at Sam's cheek with the cloth.

"You'd press on because you have to. Furthermore I'd kick your ass if you didn't." Steve stared at him a moment longer and Sam wondered if he'd do it now. It'd be shit timing with Sam laid up in bed, his eyes stinging, his back itching and uncomfortable, his body covered in bumps and cuts and bruises from fighting and smelling like drying milk but then fighting was Steve's world. Thankfully or unfortunately Steve stood up before going back to bowl and dipping the cloth again.

"Sure you don't want to call out tomorrow?"

"Those people need me Steve. Saving people isn't all guns blazing, hand-to-hand fighting. People need to feel comfortable in their own skin, in their own homes, with their family. I have a duty to them."

"I know that, I know what you do. You save people in a way I never could but you need saving sometimes too and rest. You could use a break. I shouldn't have sent you out tonight."

"Don't start going down the guilt road. Never leads to anything good, Cap. I'm fine, a little banged up but I'll survive. Bet I'll feel better in the morning."

"Nothing I can do to convince you, huh?"

"Nope."

"And you call me stubborn."

"You are."

"Takes one to know one." Steve said coming back over and laying the cloth over his eyes plunging him back to darkness.

"Get some sleep. Call me if you need me." He felt Steve hesitate by his bed before a kiss was pressed to his forehead, Steve quickly scurried off after that mumbling a good night. Sam would roll his eyes if he could, Steve was such a dork.

The next morning when Sam woke up he was pleased his eyes felt better even if he spent the night inhaling stale milk, his back was another story. It felt itchy and uncomfortable, a dull ache residing under the itchiness. He checked it out in the mirror and his upper back did look red, like he had a rash, but other than that it was fine. Maybe he was allergic to whatever was in the needle. He showered, moisturized and put on his work clothes before decided to take a couple allergy pills just in case.

The rest of the team was already in the kitchen when he entered.

"Saved a plate for you." Rhodey told him gesturing to seat beside him. Rhodey was dressed for work too; he was liaising with SHIELD and the air force on top of being an Avenger.

"Thanks man."

"You are working today?" Wanda asked incredulously.

"You were injured, you should rest." She continued.

"Don't say it." Sam said, pointing to Steve before he could speak and say 'I told him so.'

"Thank you for your concern Wanda but I can handle it. We didn't stop in the military because of a few scrapes. I've got important things to do."

"Those things could wait a day. There are still tests we need to run on you." Natasha added.

"You've got more samples of my blood than the hospital ever took. You don't need me here for that. I need to be at the VA today."

"Your concern for the quality of life of others is a beautiful thing yet it would not shame you to worry for your own self." Vision added to conversation. Sam would say there something like concern in his voice but that would be implying Vision was ever anything other than neutral or so honest it came across as sarcasm, well except for with Wanda but that was a whole other story.

"Is this gang up on Sam day? You understand, right Rhodes?"

"I understand your position, Sam. I get your concern for your people."

"Thank you."

"But a day off wouldn't kill you either." Sam sighed with annoyance. Just because he wasn't a highly trained assassin and didn't have super-strength or superpowers or a suit of armor didn't mean he couldn't take care of himself and he hated the insinuation even if they weren't directly saying that but he sighed, this was his team. No use in starting a fight.

"Look, if by lunch time I feel like shit I'll come back home okay? And even though that was a question I wasn't actually asking because I don't need permission. But if it makes you feel better, I will call." He said, directing the last sentence to Steve. He didn't look pleased but he nodded. Rhodes lifted his hands in surrender and Natasha and Wanda started to mumble to themselves in their native languages but the word 'stubborn' was clearly thrown in. Vision said nothing and Sam quickly finished eating before rushing from the house.

It was a two hour drive from upstate New York to the VA center in Brooklyn. It was a long way but it was worth it every time he was able to put a smile on one of the veterans' faces, when their families would thank him wholeheartedly. He didn't mind the late night phone calls or even spending the night with one of his people. He even took the jet out before so he could get to them quickly if it was a real emergency. He was heavily personally invested in the vets he counseled. Each one became his family and so he couldn't let some itching and a rash keep him away. He just couldn't.

It wasn't just itching and a rash, as the morning wore on it got worse. The itching was easily dealt with with an allergy pill every couple hours, though he seemed to be going through them quicker for whatever reason, but the itching took a backseat to the actual pain that was beginning to set in. It wasn't ordinary pain; it was bone deep from his scapula to his mid back. It feel like his bones were moving, expanding almost, and it hurt like a mother. However he was able to push through it during the first four hour-long sessions he had scheduled. By the time lunch hit he knew something had to give. Pain medication wasn't doing a damn thing for it. At lunch he went to the bathroom to see if his rash was worse. Even moving his arms to pull his shirts off stoked hellfire in his back. He bit his tongue, holding back the groans of pain any movement inspired but he managed to take off his shirt, he turned to see his back in the mirror and then gasped. Both his right and left shoulder blades were protruding noticeably and were dotted with blood and… was that feathers?

 _The hell._ He thought. He reached and tugged at one before gasping at the flare of pain it caused him. He looked up at himself in the mirror, actually looking at himself. He didn't look good, he was paler than normal. His eyes were growing red and beads of sweat were forming on his forehead despite the fact the AC was on full blast.

 _What the hell is happening to me?_ He thought before jumping as a knock sounded on the door.

"Sam, are you in there? You have a call." He heard his supervisor, Leila Taylor, say. It was lunchtime and he promised to call Steve, he probably called when Sam didn't. He quickly pulled back on his shirt, gripping the edge of the sink as the pain multiplied and his vision blurred. He took a breath before opening the door. Leila gasped when she saw him.

"No wonder your friend wanted me to check on you. You look horrible, Sam."

"Tell me how you really feel."

"I'm serious. You sure you don't maybe have the flu? It's been going around." It wasn't the flu but Sam nodded nonetheless.

"Maybe, I don't know."

"Well either way you're done for the day. I'll get someone else to cover your sessions and no arguments, looking like that you'll probably do more harm than good anyway. Go talk to your friend before he loses his mind, he's on line 2." Sam nodded before slowly making his way to the nearest phone.

"You can say 'I told you so' now." He said, he sounded dull even to his ears.

"You sound really bad." Steve said, worry clearly coloring his voice.

"Figures because I look bad too, feel even worse." Sam replied sarcastically.

"I'm coming to get you. I don't want you driving." Steve said in his Captain in charge voice.

"Don't worry, I'm not arguing with you. Could you… could you take the jet? I… I can't… I just feel-"

"I'll get there as fast as I can, okay?" Steve said. The promise in his voice was intense. Sam wanted to joke that he wasn't dying but who knew, maybe he was.

"Just get here please. I'll wait for you." Sam hung up and turned. Leila was still standing behind him.

"Come on, you can wait in my office." Leila placed her hand on his back gently and he couldn't resist the gasp of pain. She pulled back immediately, looking at him with concern before taking his hand and leading him to her office. Her couch was soft and cushiony and he laid there on his stomach and closed his eyes briefly. He opened them as she pushed some pills into his hands.

"Tylenol didn't do shit."

"It's Oxy. One of the vets gave it to me, said they thought they were having a problem. I shouldn't be giving it to you but you need it." Sam nodded, knowing Leila was putting her job on the line so he could feel better before he dry swallowed the pill. Leila pulled the shades closed, plunging the room in darkness before leaving him there.

Sam tried to stay perfectly still. After a little while the pain started to dull. Though it was still there, it went from hell in his bones to just outside of manageable. He could feel himself sweating even more and his breath felt like it was coming too fast, his heart beating hard in his chest. He coached his own breathing as he done many times before when the walls started closing in on him, breathing in and out slowly and carefully until he was lulled into a state of bare awareness, focused solely on his breathing and doing his best to push the pain out of his mind. He wasn't sure how much later it was that he heard a familiar rumble as the engines of the jet filled his ears. He perked up, carefully managing to sit up and push off the couch. The pain flared up in his shoulder blades but he made himself remember that he was okay. Steve was here now, so he would be okay.

He tried to make himself take a step forward but he carried his weight precariously and without balance so he just ended up sitting on the arm of the couch. Leila's office door revealing her with Steve just behind. She flicked on the lights and Sam closed his eyes against them.

"God, Sam." He heard Steve breathe out before he could feel him standing in front of him, one of his hands brushing against Sam's cheeks and forehead and the other holding Sam's hand.

"I didn't think it was this bad." Steve said, sounding worried and something else, something like pain.

"He looks even worse than early." Sam cracked his eyes open and bit the sarcastic reply wishing to force itself off his tongue back. He looked up at Steve as the man stared down at him with a storm in his eyes.

"I can't walk." Sam mumbled. Steve's face crumbled even more but he helped him stand before he scooped him up bridal style. Sam squeezed Steve's shoulder as the pain flared up.

"What's wrong?" He asked alarmed.

"My back is hurt. Can we just go? I'll tough through it to the jet. Thank you, Leila."

"You just call me when you feel better."

If I feel better, Sam didn't say.

Steve walked out with him. He could tell he was trying not to jostle him but he still felt the pain flaring with each step. He gripped Steve's shoulder tighter and tighter until he heard him hiss.

"What?" Sam asked.

"That hurt. You feel stronger."

"Pain does that I guess." He replied, Steve didn't answer to his sarcasm and Sam let it go. The stairs were a test from God all on its own and Sam wasn't sure he passed. By the time they were on the jet, Sam scrambled from Steve's arms and ended up on the floor, sweat soaking his shirt and his breath coming heavy like he had run a marathon.

"Go Natasha, we need to get back quickly." Steve said. Natasha didn't say anything but the jet was in the air a second later. Sam closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on his breathing. The pain, it was unlike anything he'd ever felt. Even the oxycodone was starting to not help as much. He might have whimpered as he laid his head down on the floor and clenched his fists trying to breathe through it. He felt Steve sit down on the floor next to him and pull Sam's head into his lap. Steve didn't say anything but his breathing was deep and steady and Sam made himself match the breaths until he was able to actually feel like oxygen was reaching his lungs.

"We have sedatives." Steve mumbled into his ear. Sam nodded his head. He really wouldn't mind oblivion right about now.

Sam woke what must've been hours later in his bedroom. He was lying on his stomach without his shirt on. There was something cold on his shoulder blades and as he shifted the coldness dulled the pain that rushed in, if only minutely.

"Hey, don't move." Steve said coming around the bed and kneeling by Sam's face. He had a look of utter relief on his face and there was that pain again too.

"What...?"

"I gave you the sedative but something happened. You've been unconscious for three days."

"Three days?!"

"I thought... I thought you weren't going to wake up." Steve admitted quietly. Sam inched his fingers out until they were brushing against Steve's cheek. Steve shut his eyes before he reached up and held Sam's hand to his face with a firmer hand, rubbing his cheek against his skin.

"Sam..."

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"We've been running tests. We think we know what it is."

"Tell me."

"It's... you're... you're growing wings." Sam looked at him as Steve's eyes opened and Sam would've started laughing if Steve didn't look so deadly serious and pained.

"... what?"

"HYDRA, it's been a part of their plans apparently to make an Enhanced with wings. They can't get Bucky under their control again; he's been out too long. He's killed too many of them but I guess they need a soldier. Someone to inspire fear. The needle they gave you had the mutation agent in it. It also had a variant of the supersoldier serum. It isn't the same as what I had or anything else that's been made, its slow acting. It's binds itself to your DNA over the course of time it takes for the wings to grow. It's changing your internal physiology and rewriting your DNA so... it's gonna hurt, it's gonna hurt a lot." Sam swallowed, trying to digest everything Steve had said.

"For- how long?"

"We're not sure. Vision thinks it could be anywhere between two weeks and a month."

"A month of this pain?" Sam looked away. He didn't know if he could do a month of this. He'd probably lose his mind if he had to go day in and day out like this. Steve held Sam's hand firmer.

"Hey, I'm not leaving you. I'm going to be right beside you every step of the way and so is the rest of the team." Sam flicked his eyes over to Steve as Steve placed a gentle kiss to Sam's hand. He believed Steve, he really did, it was his own strength he wasn't sure of.

He managed to last a week without breaking. It was a week of excruciating pain varying in levels as he was pumped full of drugs but it was a mixed bag because of the supersoldier variant changing his levels such as his metabolism. Sometimes he metabolized the pain medicine in under an hour, sometimes he metabolized it way too slow and he'd start experiencing the symptoms of an overdose which he supposed must have led to some embarrassing confessions because Steve kept looking at him with a weird expression and blushing whenever he asked about it. He was quite adamant about knowing if Sam remembered what he said when he was too doped up, which he didn't but Sam supposed he'd ask the house AI, Jacosta, to tell him later.

The team would all visit Sam every day. Rhodey helped him eat ice chips when he was there and regaled Sam with old stories of having to watch out for Tony's reckless ass. Wanda would come and she would use her powers to take him out of himself, put him in his old childhood memories where he and his mother, brother, sister and father would make breakfast together while singing and dancing to Motown records. Natasha didn't ever say very much when she came but she held his head in her lap and hummed classical songs under her breath. Vision would stand over Sam like a sentinel, looking over his back and Sam's prone body with neutral curiosity.

"I believe I could think of no one better to take on this great responsibility, Sergeant Wilson." He'd say. He would say some variation of that every day. Sam supposed he felt some pride at having the android's approval.

Steve had kept his promise. He was right beside Sam, holding his hand, stroking his cheek, coaching his breathing, making him eat and drink even though Sam didn't want to, making him laugh, and getting him ice packs and compresses for his back. Hell, Steve even helped him bathe and slept in the same bed as Sam. And it only took him growing wings for that to happen. Sam was still trying to get used to that. The idea that he was growing honest to god wings still seemed preposterous to him. Even if his whole team was special in some way, he just still couldn't wrap his mind around that. It felt like something out of a science fiction book but whether he wanted to believe it or not, the pain was very real and he was hanging on by a thread.

The eighth day nothing seemed to ease the pain. There were more feathers coming out of the protrusion in his back now, also apparently what looked like spikes were growing out and nothing seemed to quell that pain. The ice packs didn't do anything, he burned through both the pain medication and the sedative before they could help and even when Wanda would try to take him out of the pain his dreams and fantasies were still colored by his pain and turned to nightmares soon enough.

He would see Riley falling over and over again, he would see his father getting shot, he'd see Steve's broken body being wheeled into the emergency room after the Project Insight situation and then he'd see things he knew didn't happened but they could. He'd see Steve and Tony fighting and sparking a war that would lead to so much death, he'd see Steve die trying to protect Bucky, he'd see Rhodey brainwashed and forced to do heinous things, he'd see Wanda lose complete control of her power and kill all the Avengers, he'd see Bruce come back and kill Natasha and then rip Vision apart. He'd see himself standing in a field of bodies; all the bodies of the Avengers and his family and Bucky and Sam would be standing there with a gun in his hand and Steve's dead body at his feet. It felt so real, so visceral and it hurt more than the growing wings.

Wanda would look at him with so much guilt and fear after waking Sam. Sam would say nothing; he'd rather the physical pain than any of that. But the physical pain was nothing to sleep on. The eighth day was the worse day. He had thrown up in the bucket by his bed three times already, he felt like his body was being ripped in half and he could do nothing. He felt his stomach roiling again, the urge to vomit rising up in him like a wave but instead of the bucket he managed to get up and sprint to the bathroom. He flipped the toilet cover open just in time to spew his guts into the toilet. Steve had made him eat some bread and drink water but soon that was all gone and all that was left was yellow bile as his stomach worked hard to rid him of his internal organs. Sam flushed the toilet once he was done but his stomach was still convulsing and his back was killing him and in that moment he'd never wanted to just let go more in his life. He didn't want to do this anymore; he didn't want to be feeling this. He looked up from the floor as Steve came into the bathroom door. Sam's vision was blurry from tears gathering in his eyes.

"I can't... please just end this. I don't want to do this anymore." Steve looked at him with the most heartbroken expression he'd ever seen him wear but Sam could barely process that, the pain was too much. It was too great and he wanted it to end. He looked down as the tears in his eyes started spilling over. Steve walked around him and turned on the shower before kneeling in front of him and gently removing Sam's clothing. Sam didn't fight him or stop the tears that were falling down his cheeks. Once Sam was completely naked, Steve removed his own shirt but kept his sweat pants on before gently lifting Sam. Sam didn't even think he could feel any more pain so Steve lifting him went completely over his head. Steve sat on the shower floor with Sam in his lap, positioning them so the cold water coming from the shower head ran off of Steve's shoulder and arm down to Sam's back. Sam whimpered at the feel of the cold water, a new sensation among all the pain. Steve gently helped Sam brush his teeth and wash off even as the blood from his back briefly turned the water red before running down the drain.

"I'm not letting you go. I'm going to fix this; I'm going to make you better. I swear to you I will make this better." Sam looked up at Steve through the tears clouding his eyes and Steve was looking at him with pure determination and promise and Sam believed him, he would always believe in Steve. He looked down as sobs he could no longer hold back. He pressed his forehead to Steve's and wrapped his arms around his neck, letting Steve's solid presence anchor him. Letting his soft, soothing touch on Sam's body lull him. There was nothing sexual about the way Steve was holding him, even though Sam was naked and Steve's own naked chest was pressed to him so they were skin to skin, Sam just needed to feel his touch and the heat of his body as a way to ground him, to keep him at least a little sane as all the pain tried to destroy any semblance of sanity he had. He felt him holding his cheek firmly, his finger brushing over Sam's quivering lips as Steve pressed his forehead closer to his.

"I've got you. I'm not letting go, I've got you."

"This isn't like anything I've ever seen before." Dr. Helen Cho said as she looked over the data on the computer while Sam lay on a bed in the lab. Steve was standing right by Sam's side holding his hand while Dr. Cho looked over the data with Vision. Steve had called in Dr. Cho hoping the geneticist would be able to help them.

"You see why it's been difficult for me to synthesize a solution?" Vision said, looking to his creator.

"Yes, I do. The serum is already too bound to his DNA. I'd say 55% of his blood is already been enhanced. The drug truly is slow moving. I've heard about it in some circles, didn't think it was very practical. The length of time it would take and the pain it would cause, it seemed too much in my opinion." She said looking at Vision wide eyed, every time she looked at him there was something like pride in her eyes. Sam didn't blame her.

"So can you fix this, or stop it, or at least do something about it?" Steve asked.

"Stop it? No but I could speed the process up. Make it so the next two weeks of pain could be condensed to two minutes. Of course, that has its risks. He could be severely deformed or even die if the calculations aren't precise."

"I don't care. Do what you need to do." Sam said.

"Sam, the risks-" Steve started.

"I don't care. I want this over. It's my choice." Steve didn't look convinced or less concerned but he didn't protest any further.

"How long will it take?" Natasha asked.

"Well thankfully most of the data I need is already available to me. I just need to go to my lab, plug in some of my formulas. I could be ready by tomorrow with Vision's help along with me team."

"That soon?" Steve asked incredulously.

"I'm good at my job, Captain. That's why you called me. I'd just need a conduit for the procedure."

"I'll handle that. You just focus on the science side of things. We'll deal with the metal." Natasha said, nodding to Rhodey. The two of them walked from the room and Wanda followed after a moment of hesitation and a nod from Vision. The android held his hand out to Dr. Cho before picking her up bridal style and flying up and out of the room.

"Well that was dramatic." Sam commented. Dr. Cho had already helped him by adjusting his pain medication intake to react to the changes in his DNA as it happened but according to her that would only keep the pain at bay for so long. Eventually he'd grow a tolerance to it. Sam couldn't leave the lab with the IV and heart monitor he was hooked up to but Steve didn't seem to mind, grabbing a stool and sitting so they were eye level.

"I think capes have some kind of property to them that allows for dramatic exits and entrances." Sam chuckled. Steve hadn't indulged his sarcasm since that day he picked him up at the VA. Steve smiled at him before the smile dimmed and he became serious.

"I... I know I promised I'd make this better but it can't be at the expense of your life, Sam."

"When you agreed to take the serum you did it because you wanted to do good in the world. I never agreed to taking a serum at all, some needle happy ass took that choice from me."

"I know that Sam. I just wonder if you maybe dying is worth it. We could keep up with a drug regimen based on your DNA. Helen could do it, she likes a challenge."

"Even still you think HYDRA won't come for me at some point? You think they won't try to do to me what they did to Bucky? Brainwash me? Take my memories away? Turn me into a weapon against you? Why else would they have done this?"

"I won't let them, I'll protect you."

"I know you will but you can't be with me every second of every day."

"Yes I can."

"And why would you do that?"

"Because you're my friend." Sam smiled at him wanly.

"Yeah, I'm your friend." He felt a little disappointment. If he was potentially dying tomorrow now would be the perfect time for Steve to fess up but he didn't say anything.

"I think I'm just going to go to sleep. Maybe I'll actually have a good night's rest."

"I'll be here."

"I know you will." Sam shut his eyes and Steve asked Jacosta to turn the lights down. Sam let the silence of the room wash over him and he had every intention of sleeping before he heard Steve whisper the words he'd been waiting to hear for the last few months.

"I love you." Steve whispered gently and the way he said it actually scared Sam, the love in his voice could drown a weaker man.

"I'm still awake, you know?"

"I know." Sam opened his eyes and looked at Steve. He was resting his head on his arms on the bed, his face close to Sam's. It felt natural to lean over and press his lips to Steve's. Steve's lips were pliant and soft in a way the rest of him wasn't. He pressed his lips to Sam's firmer. Their kiss wasn't them fighting for dominance or demanding anything from the other they were content to just let the kiss happen, both savoring each press of flesh as something they'd wanted for so long yet were either too reluctant or too afraid to go for. The kiss ended softly and Sam pulled at Steve until he lay on the bed. Sam crawled up on Steve's body until they were chest to chest before laying his head on the right side of his chest so he could hear his heart. Steve held on to his waist, probably not wanting to disturb his back. Sam snuggled into his chest and closed his eyes.

"If it wasn't obvious I love you too and for the record, you could have picked a moment a lot less cliché than this. I'm thinking the star spangled guy has as much of a flair for the dramatic as the cape guys do." Steve's chest rumbled with laughter beneath him. Sam smiled to himself. He really hoped he didn't die the next day because he had a hell of a lot to live for.

The wings were bigger than Sam had expected. The next day had Sam found himself in the basement of an old storage house, what looked a lot like one of the cryopods he and Steve had found on their road trip to find Bucky was set up before them and Dr. Cho and Vision were plugging in their formulas, Dr. Cho's team bustling around and setting things up. Sam looked over at Natasha wondering if the pod was actually that pod, she had a sad look on her face as she stared at it before schooling her face to neutrality as she noticed Sam's gaze. Sam looked back at the pod; he didn't have the luxury of splitting hairs about it. The pain was starting to slowly seep back in, his body growing a tolerance to it as Dr. Cho had said it.

"Are you sure about this?" Steve asked beside. Sam looked over at him and Steve was looking down at him with worry. Sam had put him through his paces this week, he knew. Steve had taken all his pain as if it were his own and Sam couldn't be mad because he'd do the same were Steve in his position. Sam contemplated just soothing him with his words but everyone in the room was their friends, their team or just people they trusted so he reached up and kissed Steve softly.

"It's about damn time." He heard Rhodey mumble before he pulled away. He didn't say anything to Steve but he seemed to understand and nodded wordlessly as Dr. Cho waved him forward and he got inside the tube. He wasn't sure what was going to happen, wasn't sure what to expect but the pain when they started the procedure, was greater than all of the pain he'd felt that whole week.

He could hear Steve tell them to stop but Sam told them to press on. It'd be worth it in the end, it felt like it was taking an eternity as he could feel feathers brushing against his arms and naked torso while the pod grew too small for him. His bones through his whole body felt denser, less breakable in the way Steve's felt under his own hands. He felt like his muscles were hardening, though not growing, like he himself was becoming a tougher thing to break. It made sense; they added the super soldier formula to the injection. Soon enough it was. Sam breathed heavily as the pod opened up. The light felt different to his eyes, he could see things he hadn't before like the way the light from the bulbs refracted off the items in the room and the most minute of dust particles in the air.

He looked out at the team. They were all staring at him with awe and shock. He was now noticing things with his news eyes about them he hadn't before. Like the fact that Natasha's red hair had random strands of blonde to it that seemed natural. Rhodey's eyes weren't black as he'd once thought but was a darker brown color. Wanda had a small, barely noticeable ring of red around her irises. It wasn't neutrality in Vision's eyes; it was an unbiased hyper awareness that came out as complete emotionlessness and Steve… Sam didn't think he'd ever seen him look so gorgeous before. There was just something about him that was different through Sam's enhanced eyes. He couldn't even tell what it was. But his eyesight, though fascinating, wasn't what had stopped the room in their tracks.

Sam looked down at the wing that was curling around his torso. They feathers were black and grey shaped from what he could see and the wings themselves were big. He stumbled out of the cryopod in his shock that the procedure actually worked and fully expected to face plant but his mind had apparently already accepted the wings and like it was a reflex he found himself hovering in the air, the wings quivering on his back.

"Beautiful." Vision commented.

"Yeah, yeah he is." Steve said. Sam looked up at him and Steve was staring him slightly slack jawed and with an expression of both love and lust roiling in his eyes. Sam smiled at him and Steve smiled back. They weren't out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot but he and Steve had each other and they were honest with the way they felt now. He had his team at his back and now he had a new kickass weapon of his own. He wondered what Riley would think if he saw him now, what his mother and siblings will say, what the world would think but Sam put that aside. He wasn't alone so he wasn't worried, he could face HYDRA, the prejudiced world and anything else that came his way as long as he could do it with the man he loved by his side.


End file.
